Kashmiri weddings are full of joy and traditional ceremonies.
Bariyan: Usually around two to three weeks before the wedding, flat lentil cakes or bariyan are made to flag off the wedding preparations in the houses of both the bride and the groom.
Mehendi: Mehendi generally takes place one day before the wedding. First there is a puja. Then the girl’s hands (palms and fingers) and feet are adorned with mehendi (henna) patterns. In the groom’s house, a little mehendi is applied on his hands as a shagun.
Phoolon ka Gehna: Around 1 day before the wedding, groom’s family sends flower jewelry and tinsel to the bride. The girl adorns this jewellery as a symbol of her first shringar.
Diugun: Diugun takes place on the morning of the wedding day separately in the houses of the bride and the groom. The elders in the respective families apply a paste of curd, gram flour (besan) and saffron to the bride and groom’s heads. Then the bride and the groom take a bath (separately in their own houses). This is followed by a pooja. The parents of the bride give her jewelry, clothes, household items, etc. An essential item of the jewelry is the dijaru, an ear ornament, which is the sign of a married Kashmiri woman
Devgon: The devgon is a ceremony that marks the transition of the bride and the groom from brahmacharya ashram to grihastha ashram. The ceremony is observed separately by the girl’s family and the boy’s family in their respective homes. The bride and the groom worship God Shiva and Goddess Parvati.
Sanzvaru: The boy’s family sends sanzvaru for the bride. This essentially consists of cosmetics, a small mirror, sindoor, a pamur or a shawl and also special paan or betel leaf encased in silver and gold warq or foil. The bride dresses for the wedding using these cosmetics.
Dressing of the Bride and the Groom: Relatives assist the bride and the groom, as they dress for the occasion in elaborate wedding gear. The groom’s paternal uncle helps him to tie the gordastar (turban). A gold thread is used to tie a peacock feather to the gordastar.
Welcoming the Marriage Procession: Relatives of the bride greet the procession warmly as it arrives to the wedding venue. The fathers of the bride and the groom exchange jaiphal or nutmeg symbolizing the solemnization of the relationship with a promise of a life-long friendship. The groom and bride escorted by her maternal uncle stand on the vegu (rangoli) that has been specially created for the occasion. The eldest female member of the family feeds Kuze (sweet lump) to the bride and the groom and kisses them on the forehead. Two rice pots are given away to the poor. The couple is led by the family purohit to the door. He performs a small ceremony here called dwar pooja before leading them to the lagan mandap.
Phere: A mananmal or golden thread is tied to their foreheads. The left foot of the bride and groom are placed on a kajwat or grinding stone. The first phera around the sacred fire is made by stepping on seven one-rupee coins. There are a total of seven pheras. The bride and groom feed each other some rice at the end of the ceremony. This is followed by a vidai ceremony.
Vidai: The newly wedded couple is made to stand on the beautifully decorated vegu. Then the eldest female member of the family comes forward and offers nabad to the couple three times. Thereafter, she kisses them on the forehead. The bride is then seated in the doli or palanquin. The friends and relatives of the bride bid her good bye, as she leaves to start a new journey with her life partner.
Welcoming The Newly-weds: The groom’s eldest aunt refuses to let the couple make an entry into the house, until she gets cash or jewelry. The couple is then taken to the vyog, where they are offered nabad by the groom’s eldest aunt. Also, she kisses them on the forehead. To welcome the newly weds, a pair of pigeons is set free. The next part of ceremony involves the exchange of mananmal tied on the forehead. Thereafter, the groom’s aunt leads the couple to the kitchen, where they are made to sit on the mud stove. Delicious food is served to them by the aunt. After they’ve had their food, the bride wears the clothes presented to her by her in-laws.
Grasun ki dawat: Bride’s brother invites the groom’s family for lunch.
Reception: The reception is given from the boys side.
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